Posts Tagged ‘living in scotland’

Don’t get me wrong. I love living in Scotland, but just look at our faces. We are looking passionately past our kilts, past our swords, daggers, shields. We are looking home. Home to a decent Burger.

The Scots have invented a lot of what America takes for granted (tires, TV, computers, telephones, the notion of History & Geography, pavement, golf, the adhesive stamp, bicycle pedals, fountain pens, lawnmowers, matches, car insurance, the decimal point, chloroform, the United States Navy, wire rope, radar, raincoats, hypnosis and cornstarch, to name but a few) but the burger has eluded them.

I had a burger last summer in Vermont (pictured on the right) that was everything a Scottish burger is NOT. The beef did not contain oatmeal. It did not have unidentifiable spices in it. It was not called ‘mince’ which is how they make hamburger meat here…by mincing things I think American’s reserve for hotdog production only. It was cooked rare rather than for six days (could they possibly be cooking them, freezing them, recooking them by boiling them, then serving them??). I was also allowed to add things to my burger, limited only by my imagination, other than just a dried out ‘bap’ which is not a bun but something else which I don’t fully understand.

My family no longer orders burgers in restaurants here. We’ve learned. Even in a restaurant famous for their American burgers, we’ll all order salmon or haggis. ┬áMaking them at home is a no-go as well, due to the nasty ‘mince’ issue. So, we just long. Long for far away shores where our desires for bacon cheese burgers with sides of mayo are fulfilled.


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